If you broke up w/ your girlfriend for a week b/c you were felt betrayed as you watched her flirt heavily?

with another guy, could you forgive her if she slept w/ him 3 weeks later. A week after she was flirting w/ him I realized it was not worth messing up our 3 years together, and told her I had forgiven her, but she somehow got mad at me and said it will not work between us,...after I had forgiven her for acting like that. Anyway for 3 weeks I wanted her back so badly and she goes ahead and sleeps w/ him, and a week later realizes she made a huge mistake and wants me back. She cut off all communication w/ him the day after, b/c she felt disgusting over it. Afterwards she had told me that she thought I didnt love her and that is why she was flirting. She didn't want to get back together b/c she thought it wouldn't work btwn us. I don't understand how she could do that to me first off, she must of known how much it hurt for her to do this w/ the guy I had broken up w/ her over, and why it took sleeping w/ him to realize she made a mistake? would u forgive her if she was truly sorry?If you broke up w/ your girlfriend for a week b/c you were felt betrayed as you watched her flirt heavily?
It depends on how heavily she was flirting. Details might help, not that I want this to become salicious. If it was as much as you say, and you wanted to save this, then that's when you should have had a conversation, instead of breaking up with her. You don't breakup unless you mean it. Of course hindsight's 20/20. But she screwed up.



Both of you rejected each other from the relationship -- you broke up with her, and she rejected you when you asked her to come back. So I guess that kind of balances out.



I don't consider her bonking this other guy to be ';cheating'; -- you broke up with her, and it's not your business what she does after that. So I don't blame her for that.



I *am* concerned that she may have been flirting with him in *order* to cheat, to use it as an ';exit'; affair, to screw you over -- and that you just saved her the trouble by breaking up with her first. Perhaps her flirting was more a sign that she didn't love you, rather than vice versa, and now she's just trying to blame it on you. Have you given her reason to doubt your love?



There is also something to be said for respecting your 1st instinct. Consider if you are both going to be settling for less than what makes you happy, if you stay together.



On the other hand, she may very well believe her own version of the events, and this was just a comedy of errors.



If this hadn't been going on for 3 years, I would probably bail. Too much drama and bad karma. But you do have a lot of mileage with this girl.



If I concluded she was destroying the relationship intentionally by heavily flirting (there really is no excuse for that, btw, regardless of whether she tries to justify it, it's not okay -- why is she turning to someone else when you two are in trouble?), that she had already given up, I would just end it, 'cause she's too wishy-washy for me. I think both of you are wishy-washy -- actually, that is one way you two are a good match for each other, and I mean that sincerely.



If you believe her that she was flirting because she thought you didn't love her (that's a separate issue, if it's true, you need to get to the bottom of why that is and deal with it or this is just going to happen all over again!!!), and she also didn't realize the horribleness of what she was doing, *and* you are either content to live with someone who handles issues that way or you think you can somehow talk sense into her, then give it another shot.



If you do give it another shot, I think you two need to have a long talk about how it never solves anything to flirt like that and how it's a dealbreaker for you. And it clearly is a dealbreaker; you already ditched her once for this. If she does it again, I would bail for good.



Re: Somebody said you'll need to start over. Starting over, in my experience, tends to get rid of all the good things that happened while keeping all the baggage you didn't want -- and there is an assumption of distrust. Just try to move past this, learn from it, become stronger, and get on with life, if you choose to stay.If you broke up w/ your girlfriend for a week b/c you were felt betrayed as you watched her flirt heavily?
I would, as long as I felt deep down that I really forgave her and it didn't bother me. People make mistakes. Just hope that it is one mistake and it never happens again. Good Luck and God Bless!
no i wouldn't i know there are ladies out there who would never cheat
not feeling loved is really no reason to cheat and sleep with someone. she slept with him because its what she wanted to do. she may not want to get back with u because the road back to trust is definitely a hard one, and would require alot of work, and remorse on her part. if she had a problem with your relationship she should have come to u instead of flirting with another and sleeping with him. once someone rips your heart out, its hard to work it out, unless u are definitely a forgiving man.
Since you guys are not married I would go ahead and end it, why set yourself up for more pain in the future.
You can forgive her if you want, and if you truly find it in your heart to do so. However to me it just sounds like she's not mature enough to be in a serious relationship. Do you think a few years from now you wont be holdind this against her? Think about it. You just might be wasting your time w/ her if you cannot forgive her,and decide to stay w. her anyways.
If you truly love someone then forgiving them is easy. If she is sorry and remorseful, and you love her, then take her back and forgive her.



Now is the time for the two of you to find whether you are compatible,and if you have enough trust and love to weather the long storm of life.



Good Luck
Women flirt to make sure you're paying attention to us. We flirt to make sure we're still attractive. We flirt, and it's common knowledge.



We also have anxiety over 'is this the last man I'll ever sleep with!!'



You blew her actions way out of proportion, and she saw it as a reason you weren't compatable. After sleeping with someone else, she realize that you were truely the only person she wanted to be with? It's entirely possible. However, if your relationship were truely healthy, she wouldn't have felt a need to act on her desire to look elsewhere.



It's a toss-up: will it work? you'll have to work hard at it, most likely start over new (since someone else got involved). Do you think it won't work out? after all, people can change a lot in three years?
Yes, I think I can forgive her. But I'm not going to take her back. For me, you've tried everything to save your relationship, talk to her, understand and forgive her acting up. And you're right that why it took sleeping to another guy to realize she made a mistake. Flirting itself is betrayal to you knowing you have a 3-year relationship. You can forgive her but still you have a lot of things to talk about like how to trust her again
Move on! You are not married to her. Other fish in the sea that are better than her.
I couldn't tell you unless I was in the situation myself. One side says walk away, there had to be MORE to the break up than just heavy flirting one night.....so perhaps it was your gut telling you that you deserved better?
Dude you dumped her, what did you expect to do?