Would you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend because you didn't like their mother?

My boyfriend's mom obviously doesn't like me, and she isn't willing to cut the umbilical cord with her son. I have been dating my boyfriend 2+ years, and since we are over at his parents house several times a week, I have had ample time to get to know her, and vise versa. She doesn't cook healthy foods nor does she walk her 100 pound dog, she doesn't manage her finances right (for ex spending insurance money to fix the roof of the house on new furniture), she doesn't recycle just because she doesn't have the bins - she is not a good example for him. Don't get me wrong, she raised him with manners and taught him to be kind to women, but a healthy lifestyle, responsible financing, and social responsibility are important to me. He sides with his mother on issues, and doesn't mind being attached to the umbilical cord. I have tried to tell him how I feel, but he gets defensive and won't compromise. I know he will always choose his mother over me, and she will be there until the day she dies. Knowing this.... his mom could be a dealbreaker for me. Would you break up (or have you ever) with someone because of their mother?



See my other question as a reference for how she treats me (keep in mind my boyfriend did nothing to defend me):

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;

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Would you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend because you didn't like their mother?
Try talking to him again, but be very, very sensitive! A child's connection with their mother is strong. Tell him that you feel hurt by the way his mother treats you, and you feel hurt that he doesn't defend you.



Of course there will be times when he chooses his mother over you. She is, after all, the woman who gave birth to him. But if he really loves you, he should defend you and not let anyone hurt you.



If I were you, I would tell him how I feel, and then tell him that if he refuses to stick up for me, I'll break up with him. If his mom is that attached, she can have him.



Would you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend because you didn't like their mother?
thats too much to read..but no I wouldnt
I was 14 and my boyfriend was16, his mother HATED ME!!!!!

I mean HATED!!!

After time, she came to accept me, and now I'm 35, that same boyfriend is 37, and we've been married for 17 years.

She and I have gotten very close, in fact, I'm closer to her now than I am my own mother.

Hang in there, maybe things will start looking up :)
NO
well, if you really mean a lot to him than he will not take sides and take good qualities from you and his mother. she needs to understand that kids grow up and life does go on...so unless its at a point where you absolutely can not stand the situations, than talk to him and let him know how you feel..good luck!
I would leave him considering the situation will not change if he isn't willing to do anything. He doesn't have to side with you when you and his mother disagrees; however, he has a responsibility to respect you and your opinion. If you start to pull away from him, he might detach himself from his mother, but if he doesn't, then that shows you how he feels about you and the relationship.
well it depends how much u like him...but does it even matter that his mom even likes u.. its not like u have to see her or hang out with her.. just ignore her.
If he decides to side with her, then its not his mom you have issues with.



Hes a big boy and makes his own decisions.



Maybe its time you found someone you are more compatible with, or who has the same personal standards as you.
dump that mama's boy
there is some issues and it's not a one way street. what does her finances have to do with anything? that's none of your business and your attempt to get others to side with you.you don't like her then stay away from her you are causing these problems with mother and child trying to force him to pick you over his own mother. your sick in the head and you need to hit the bricks. i would break up with you if you disrespect my mother and that is what you are doing. if you don't like her just stay away. you are turning this into some sick competition between you and his mother and you want to win, by pointing out her negatives to him. this is his mother!!!! get gone and make it quick you whack job
YES!! I would and I have before. If you marry someone, you are marrying their family as well, and if you can't stand them, you're setting yourself up for a terrible marriage. I tend to find that the parents judge me based upon what I look like and write me off as a bad person without even trying to get to know me, and if the girl I'm with seems to be affected by their judgement of me, that's a very bad sign.



You are extremely smart to realise what you may be getting into here -- most people don't, and live to regret it (as evidenced by other answers).